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ReplyDeleteOkay how funny are you queen pictures! But I'm here to comment on your storybook! I just read your introduction and I'm loving where you are going with this. I have plans to come back and keep up as your storybook develops. i love the way you map out finding your inner goddess by the different places you visited. I'm especially excited to read more about the japan and england goddess. They seem to have lot's of advice for us girls!
ReplyDeleteI like how your intro starts out, I felt like I was reading a friends blog post having just come home form studying abroad or something. It seemed very authentic and real. i think you have a great framework here that is going to develop into a great storybook!
-Annie
https://sites.google.com/site/innergoddessstorybook/introduction
I agree with Annie: your queen pictures are hilarious! I really enjoyed your storybook and how it is coming along so far. Your choice of color and font really seem to mesh well with the goddess theme. I also like your choices for the goddesses you will be telling stories about. Each one being from a different culture is a great idea and they seem to all represent a different part of being a goddess. How much fun would a trip like this be in reality? I also really liked the decision to represent each goddess with their own separate picture. It gave me an image and idea of what these goddesses were like even when I had not heard of some of them. I really like where this Storybook is headed. It is really easy to read through and seems like it will become a very well put together project. Good start!
ReplyDeleteI love how your StoryBook is coming along. I read the Introduction today and I felt like you were going to transport me on a journey to meet very interesting goddesses. I love the fact that you will be introducing me to different cultures too. The images you chose were perfect for the goddesses you chose for your storybook. All of the women looked strong and independent and looked like they could handle anything put in front of them. Your Introduction was very easy to read and I look forward to reading more of it as you progress through it. I'm most interested in the last couple of women in your storybook because I know very little about them. I am more familiar with the goddess Isis, but could definitely use a refresher course on her as well. Hopefully, after you are completely done with you storybook, I'll be able to bring out my inner goddess too! :-)
ReplyDeleteHey gurl. First off, I want to commend you on enlisting the help of the Queen to get people to leave comments on your blog. She definitely helped encourage me to leave one! Jk, I wanted to comment on the first introduction to your storybook project (of course)! I can already tell it's going to fabulous, like you. I love the diverse array of goddesses you chose to help tell this story. I knew without a doubt you would pick Isis, but now I'm curious to learn about the other goddesses that will be featured. I had never heard of Izanami until I read your intro, and I've only heard a little bit about Britomart.
ReplyDeleteOne small thing I really like about your storybook so far is the amount of pictures. Oh my goddess the pictures! Please keep incorporating beautiful pictures into each installment of your storybook because you have an eye for selecting the most beautiful and theme appropriate photos! I'm really looking forward to reading your storybook as it grows by each installment. Keep up the good work and gathering photos!
I really like how your website it put together. The colors seem really goddess like. I really like how you set up your introduction. The paragraphs are short and the pictures between them really help to know which stories are going to be told. I think it makes it less intimidating when looking at it with the way you set up your page. I think that the summary of who you were going to talk about helps me to be prepared with what goddesses' stories are going to be told. They seem like they are going to be really interesting and I am excited to see how the stories are going to be told. I like how you are using one person, Clara, to be the storyteller. I like how its one person who apparently met all these goddesses and is going to let us know who they all are. I am looking forward to reading more about them.
ReplyDeleteWow, what an awesome introduction to your storybook! First of all, I really liked the overall design of the website. It's bright and almost celebratory, reflecting the content which is sort of a celebration of the trip the narrator took. I also liked the how the pictures were smaller and spread out throughout the introduction. It allowed the introduction to focus more on the words (i.e. they weren't distracting) and they emphasized what you were saying about each goddess. They looked like they had all the characteristics you were describing. I feel like you really studied and enjoyed reading about these fictional women. You seem to have taken away many lessons from their stories and your words reflect a deep respect for each one. Finally, it was a very engaging description of the stories you plan to write and would definitely love to read more about them. I was surprised (but pleasantly so) by the goddess you decided to write about. I expected to find the usual Greek and Indian goddesses, but I would certainly love to read more about these new women you have introduced me to.
ReplyDeleteI really like your storybook! I love that you are bringing in different elements and inspirations from all different cultures. I think it will be a great storybook that takes us on adventures of our own! I thought your introduction was great. It provides a very solid set up for the rest your stories. I really liked they you gave us some little peeks into the inspirations behind each of the goddesses and what we can learn from them. I also really liked your decision to include Britomart as an honorary goddess because while she's not a goddess in the tradition sense she definitely is a very strong figure.
ReplyDeleteI liked that you used multiple images in your introduction. I love the visual representation we got with each goddess that you described and your first image really gives us a sense of going on a journey. I also really liked the last image you used and thought it went really well with the overall theme of your storybook of finding your inner goddess. I look forward to seeing the stories you create!
I read the introduction, and while it doesn’t really appeal to me personally (I don’t want/ don’t really think I have an inner goddess), it looks great. I like that you gave a small sample of each one of the stories you’re going to expand on later. It was a great idea to include a bunch of pictures in the introduction! Each time you wrote about Isis, I wonder if it made you uncomfortable at all (because of the terrorist group that is sometimes referred to as Isis), but that is just a personal interjection, not a suggestion at all.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Isis, your first story is great! I wish there wasn’t a 1,000-word limit in place so you could go further with the conversation between Clara and Isis too. There were a couple small grammatical things to be fixed (e.g. in your second-to-last paragraph, there is a comma missing, and a comma where it doesn’t need to be), but seriously that’s a really cool story! I like how Clara is like a historical figure journalist.
Hi Bria! Just wanted to leave you another comment here. I just wanted to say that I enjoyed your snow day pics on your page and the picture of you & your cat. Your cat is so pretty! I'm totally a cat person.
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to say that I really like the background that you have chosen for your comment wall. The blue water is so serene and peaceful. It reminds me of the clear blue waters in the Caribbean and makes me want to go to Barbados.
By the way, thank you very much for the comments you have left me on some of my blog posts. They have been very helpful and kind. Have a good "rest of the weekend" and take care!
Well hello again, Bria! This comment will be all about your storybook. You are certainly moving right along with your storybook progress! The last time I was there, it just had the Introduction on it and how it has a wonderful story about Isis there. It was a good read.
ReplyDeleteIn the paragraph after the picture of Isis with the huge white wings, you forgot to put the "d" on the word entrance. I like the fact that you wrote about the different places you visited while there, but I would have liked more of the story to be about Isis and less about the places you visited. Of course, this is just my preference.
When you started getting into the actual description of and dialogue with Isis, that is where the story really became super interesting to me. The dialogue with Isis was really good. I definitely think that area could be expanded more by adding more about your conversation with her.
The pictures were "spot on" and were just right for your storyline. My favorite picture was the one of Isis with the big, white wings. She looked so majestic and powerful. The other pictures of her and Ra were also perfect for that part of the story. She also looked quite powerful yet feminine as well.
You did a very good job overall. I look forward to reading more and more of your storybook as it progresses.
Although a little to pink for my liking, you did a great job with the theme of your storybook. Also I don’t wish to find my inner goddess, but it looks like I’m going to anyways! I really enjoyed your introduction and it got me excited to begin reading your other stories. I really liked the last sentence of the introduction “Join me and be empowered as we learn how to find our inner goddesses”. It got me excited to read on. I also got to read your first story “Isis” and thought it was superb. You had a great style of writing, and the wording was perfect. You had excellent flow throughout the whole story and I never ran into any bumps in the road. Great job and I really look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteHey girl! I've been looking forward to reading the next installment for your wonderfully empowering storybook project! I knew I wouldn't be disappointed, especially with the first story being about Isis. ;)
ReplyDeleteI love how you set it up: from Clara exploring the marketplace and ancient monuments of Egypt, to explaining one of the major myths associated with Isis before actually getting to the summoning. And the summoning! The way you described her in all of her ethereal beauty, glorious and resplendent in glowing light was simply astounding! The advice Isis gives is empowering and important for women of all ages to hear, and she delivers it with no frills. I absolutely love what you're doing with this project and I can't wait to see what you write for the other goddesses!
Hey Bria! For starters, I'm a huge fan of the comment wall setup you have going; I was quite motivated by the Queen to come leave a comment ASAP. I really enjoyed your introduction and Isis story. I think your introduction does an excellent job giving an overview of what to expect from the storybook as a whole, going through step-by-step the different stories that you'll tell during the book. I also thought your Isis story was well written with a very positive message throughout. My only comment would be that I might have liked more of the story to focus on the interactions with Isis herself. I enjoyed the lead up to it but felt that you could have gotten more of that plot along during the actual conversation, especially since that is the main focus of your story. Other than that though, I thought it was very well written!
ReplyDeleteI read both your introduction and you first story post about Isis for your project this week. I really iked your introduction I thought you did a really good job about giving an indication of what your theme would be throughout your stories. That you would be exploring goddesses as they pertain to women’s power and self confidence. Which is an awesome theme and I’m really excited to see how your story continues to evolve and grow. I thought your Isis post was very interesting. The background story about her was really informative and gave your readers some information about Isis that is most likely not common knowledge. In your author’s note you talk about not wanting to go over the word limit but still wanting to discuss more about the interview. In that instance I would have perhaps cut down your first bit of the post somewhat. While setting the scenary was really well done and your vocabulary was colorful to paint a good idea of what we would be encountering, it did’t really further Isis all that much so you could have perhaps cut out some of it as “fluff stuff’. But like I said, I really like your direction, good job!
ReplyDeleteHey, Bria! I came to this post in order to leave a couple of comments about your blog layout/design, and ended up laughing and being even more motivated to leave a comment because of Queen Elizabeth II, haha. I just wanted to compliment you on the choice of background and the color scheme; the watery background is very calming and serene, as are the light blues you use. And the layout isn't too distracting to detract from the stories and posts, which is a feat in itself. The placement of the label widget and other links in your sidebar is easy to navigate, and overall you have a very clean and navigable blog. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog layout and design. I have to admit that I love this color of blue and the water in the background is awesome. I also like the font that you used for your title "Diving into the Deep Sea of Mythology." It definitely fits into your layout and it is obvious that you put some effort into your blog.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to say great job on the stories so far! You really build up each character to be their own personality and set up their stories fairly well.
ReplyDeleteI do have a few suggestions though, starting with emotional focus: it's obvious that each character in your frametale will have different lessons to teach about "being your inner goddess". However, in the introduction, the only character that has their lesson/moral mentioned is Britomart. The other characters that are mentioned are slightly vague and I don't feel like I get a proper build up to what lessons they have to teach.
There's a lot of rhetoric, sayings and "buzz words" in your story, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm talking about phrases like "I let loose, got out of my comfort zone", "owns her own femininity", and "finding our inner goddesses." The reason I think these currently aren't effective phrases for moving your story forward is that they're very subjective and they warrant explanation by the author about what the meaning of these phrases are. I would like to see your explanation for these phrases at least implied in your story so that I, as a reader, can identify with the characters better.
Hello Bria, you have a nice storybook. I find it creative and unique that your topic can be somewhat inspiring to other women and young girls. Many times, I believe that females tend to dim their light around others, so that, they can be accepted. Informing others about the goddesses that reign can truly help others let their light shine bright like a diamond. Also, this storybook could also help you become more confident in your talents and strengths. I have learned form this course that blog writing can be an outlet for many things. I have created another blog that I vent to, which is kind of similar to the Famous Last Words extra credit that we have. Also, I do like that your audience is able to travel with you from place to place to meet the goddesses. I would suggest maybe providing a little more imagery about the place. Great work!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I am glad you got into my storybook's theme. I feel like when we are growing up we are too often told "you can do anything, sweetie" but had no one said that, we would have never thought differently. I want us to empower each other and I think the stories of the goddesses could help with that. Blogging is pretty great. I have a blog for my trip this summer to Africa and a couple of Tumblr blogs that are for fun.
DeleteHello Bria! On first impressions, I love the layout of your site. It's really fun and the pink is girly, but not totally overwhelming. Very cute! This is my first time visiting your site, so I'm going to read your introduction and your story called 'Isis'. Your text is very clear to read and flows really well. I like all of the pictures you use! I like the general idea of female empowerment. I read stories from the Izanagi and Izanami unit and really liked them! On your 'Isis' story, again I really like how many pictures you used. Obviously, because I'm five and have a tiny attention span. I think you really captured the regal attitude that Egyptian Mythology embodies. Although, your story is a little bit long, it didn't feel that way. I was really easy and exciting to read! I think you did an awesome job! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteYay! You added the second story! And I was so excited to read it, so I chose you as my extra comment for this week. :3
ReplyDeleteI too read (part of) the Faerie Queene which told the story of brave, noble Britomart. I didn't get all the way through, but I figured she found her Knight in shining armor eventually. On the subject of your storytelling, I'm still in love with the way you've decided to tell the stories through the travels of a young girl much like ourselves - independent, curious, and hungry for the wisdom and advice of strong women. With Britomart, you've brought up the controversy of a woman taking on a 'man's' job, and how that shouldn't discourage any young girls from pursuing their dreams (be it finding the love of their life or something else). You're doing a fantastic job with this storybook and I'm so eager for your next installment! Keep bringing up those morals to live by through the mouths of powerful women! They're an inspiration to all!
Bria,
ReplyDeleteI love the layout of your storybook. The colors look great together and they give your storybook a nice and fun feel to them that radiates “girl power.” As I was reading your introduction, I find myself being reminded of the Julia Roberts movie, Eat, Pray, Love. He journey was all about self-discovery just like your main character’s journey. I also really enjoyed your first story. I had never heard of the Goddess Isis or her many stories so it was nice to learn something new. I thought it was pretty interesting that Isis showed up in not only Egyptian folklore but also Greek and Roman mythology as well. This must mean that she is a pretty important lady. Another thing I enjoyed about your story was the pictures you used. It was nice to have multiple pictures that showed everything that Clara saw during her trip to Egypt. Overall I enjoyed your storybook so far and am interested to read the rest of your stories.
Well true to my word I have come back to your blog to see how things are developing! This week I read your Britomart addition to your story. I can see the difference in your writing and there’s a lot less fluff going into this story! You still included information about traveling and the background of London itself but not nearly as much in depth and you went into the story of Britomart. Your transition was really creative and a clever way to seamlessly weave in your bibliography information! I had heard the story of Britomart before and you did a really good job of hitting the highlights and making her story clear to the reader. I thought your personification of the lady knight was a really spot on portrayal. I’ve always loved stories about women in battle and how they have to overcome the gender stigma. I think your story is coming along great!
ReplyDeleteHi Bria,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comments that you gave me on my story about the Leopard & the Psychic. I took your advice to heart and changed it from one big block of text to smaller paragraphs. It did make it a lot easier to read and seemed to make the story flow better. I also took your advice and fixed the difference in font between the story and editor's note. That did make the story seem a little strange and now it looks a lot better. I'm always grateful to receive constructive criticism on my work because it always makes my writing and stories better. I can also tell from your own writing style that you use these techniques yourself. Your stories seems to flow effortlessly and I love to read your work. Thanks!
Bria, your site was fitting for “Finding Your Inner Goddess.” All the pink and purple hues were gorgeous! I wish there were more stories to read. Do you plan on adding any more? If not, I suppose that I will just have to live with it :-P
ReplyDeleteI read your tale of Britomart for critique. I actually read the Britomart unit and was curious to see what story (or part of the whole story) you choose to use. I found it hard to break apart the sections in the unit because they were all so interconnected and more like chapters of the same book then individual adventures. I was not disappointed. I liked how you basically summarized her life and used it as something to strive for. Your writing was excellent and I only stumbled over a few grammatical and spelling errors. I think if you read through the tale one more time out loud you would be able to fix them easily. Great job!
Hi Bria! I decided to visit your storybook as my final project commenting assignment of the semester! I really like your cover page and the quote on the cover page too! I really love your introduction and I must say that I really hope that the experiences she talks about in the first paragraph are what I'm really looking forward to in our trip to Africa this summer! I want to be immersed and learn the culture and experience the stories and everything! That is what a study abroad trip should be! Anyways, back to Clara, I love the way she talks to the audience as if she were telling a story. I love that in the first story she describes everything she saw and did, as if it all really did happen, it really is as if you yourself visited Egypt and experienced these things. Overall it was one of the best storybooks I've read so far!
ReplyDeleteHi Bria. I chose your storybook as one of my project commenting posts for this class. I like how you had the character Clara narrate the story at first, but then changed it to have Clara actually talking to the goddesses in your stories. That was very nice and easy to follow. I had already read your story about Isis, but when I can back to comment today...I found your Britomart story. I knew nothing about this warrior woman and was very intrigued to read about her. I like how she was born into a male dominated world and overcame the struggles of being a woman in this world and proved herself a worthy warrior in the end.
ReplyDeleteYour Introduction page was gorgeous with all the pink colors and explained exactly what we should expect in your storybook. The pictures you chose of Isis and Britomart, as well as, all the scenery photos were delightful to look at and accentuated the stories perfectly.
I did not see any grammatical errors in your stories or spelling issues. The only thing I would suggest is that the font size on the second story was quite smaller than on the Isis story. This is just a personal preference of mine, but I do like the larger fonts better.
Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook and loved reading many of your posts throughout the semester. You have a way with words and keeping people interested in reading your stories. Keep on writing because you are definitely good at it. Good luck to you in your future classes and pursuing your dreams. Take care.
What is up Bria!? I really enjoyed reading your storybook a few weeks ago, so I thought I would come back and see what you have added and what you have changed. But, before we move on, I would just like to admire your wonderful Queen Elizabeth comment wall. My mother is originally from England and I just love the Queen. I think I would categorize her as a goddess. Anyway, I saw your story about Britomart and I read her unit for my extra reading diary assignment, and I am obsessed. She is amazing. I love all the pictures you use, they are great. I think that the dialogue in your story helps combat its length. There is a lot of description of the setting and the plot, but I think that makes the story more interesting. I liked that your main character had to seek out Britomart; that made her more mysterious and awesome. Its is also a fun and exciting journey!
ReplyDeleteHi Bria, I wanted to start by saying that I really liked the theme of your storybook. Going with different Goddesses from around the world is a great way of branching out to give you so many rich stories to choose from instead of being narrow casted to a specific region. You did a wonderful job of tying that all in with your Introduction story. Framing it as a recant from Clara’s adventures across the globe was a great way of writing it. I also liked how you not only let the readers know what Goddesses they will encounter from the beginning; so they could look forward to individual ones, but you also gave a great little summary of each one; so they will have a solid background story on each character. . The photos you used were also a great touch so the readers can put a face to all of the characters before they delve into each one’s individual story. I can’t wait to read the rest of your stories!
ReplyDeleteI was going to leave a comment anyway, so I'm glad the Queen approves. Anyway, I really liked the set up that you provided in your introduction. It seems like it will be a good springboard from which to write the rest of your storybook. I'm not sure I like how there are so many pictures breaking up the text. To me, it kind of interrupts the flow of the story. Obviously that's just one random style point. Otherwise I really enjoyed reading your storybook! In particular, I liked how you made sure to describe the setting in detail. It's something that I've definitely been lacking in my stories, so I'll try to use your description of the setting as one to model mine off of. I can definitely see why your storybook was selected as one of the finalists. (I didn't look at the winners, so if you won, congrats!) Great job! I really enjoyed reading your storybook!
ReplyDeleteHi, Bria! First off, I just want to say that seeing pictures of the Queen on this page made me really happy. You can never go wrong with the Queen.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your Storybook. The colors you chose for your pages were so nice to look at, and they jumped at you just enough to get your attention but didn't make you want to dim your screen. The images you chose for your pages were also nice. I liked the variety of images you used! Your writing was great, just like everything else about your project. It was easy to read and made me want to delve further into your project! One thing I noticed was that you did really well in terms of attention to detail. When you described the goddesses, you made them come alive with your writing. I think you did a great job, and I’m so glad I got to read your material!
I really love the layout of your storybook. The idea of someone just coming back from their travels and talking about what they learned and saw works really well with how you've used the images in-between the paragraphs of text. It really gives it a feel of a diary someone kept while they were traveling. I really liked how in your stories you talked about the background of the character and then transitioned into an actual meeting with them. Ending your stories with advice from these characters and what they would say to girls of today was really fun. It made your stories really relatable and helped establish a connection to these historical characters. I loved the pictures that you used for the project. I thought it was great that you gave us more than one with each story so we really got a great visual representation and could visualize these stories as we were reading them. Overall I think you did a really great job with your storybook!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I loved the idea for your Storybook! It was too cute! I loved that you created a character who had travelled around the world and learned from the culture around her. I also thought it was such a creative idea also to use goddesses from different cultures. I personally thought it gave your Storybook a more well rounded perspective on things because not all of the stories were pulled from one genre, per say. I loved that you ended each story with advice from the characters. I think it stemmed well with the idea of your main character, Clara, "finding her inner goddess." Super cute Storybook overall! Awesome job! Hope you have a wonderful end to yours semester, and best of luck to you on finals! :)
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